The biggest week in gaming is finally upon us, as the doors to the Los Angeles Convention Center have seemingly been knocked off the hinges by rabid fanboys and media outlets. E3 Expo is essentially the biggest gaming event ever and brings the gaming community national attention. For a week, gaming becomes more than just a hobby nerds do in their parents basements. Today, Microsoft kicked off the show with their annual press conference.. where they show and tell all things Xbox 360 related. After letting the entire conference sink in my brain for a few hours, I’ve come to the conclusion that Microsoft’s showing was very poor and uninteresting to me as a gamer/Xbox fan. And here’s why..
“A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away” there existed two companies who would ultimately become rivals: in one corner, Microsoft, and in the opposing corner, Apple. Now, Apple innovated with new technologies.. new ways of communicating and computing; essentially making our lives easier. And they packed it all in to some of the most beautiful electronics we geeks will ever lay our eyes on. Quite clearly, Microsoft looked up to Apple’s ability to stay relevant and keep improving upon what people want out of their devices. Microsoft began “inventing” things that Apple had been doing for quite some time and claiming them as new ideas or revolutionary. Or so the story goes.
So honestly, how come nothing has changed since those days so long ago? Microsoft’s E3 conference proved to me that they’re trying so hard to be Nintendo. They literally want to be them, so, so bad. It’s rather disgusting. This isn’t a post just to drill at Microsoft, but rather, a means to point out the error(s) of their ways; to show they’re going about this all the wrong way. Microsoft’s attempt at motion technology/control, Kinect, is pretty laughable. If you look at Apple’s feet (strange imagery, I know), you’ll notice them every so slightly touching the giant ocean that is gaming.. just testing the waters with iPod/iPhone/iPad. Apple isn’t completely submerged in the ocean for a reason, and that’s because they did the opposite of Microsoft. Apple’s line of devices all offer something that other gaming platforms really don’t. Ease of use, touch screen, a universal app store available anywhere, impressive graphical capabilities, and of course, all three double as another device. Yes, Nintendo’s DSi has a touch screen, but it’s so much more satisfying using your finger(s) to input what you want to do on an iPad. No stylus is a huge factor that goes hand in hand with ease of use. Anyone who picks up an Apple device immediately knows how to use it. There’s zero learning curve. DSi also boasts a universal online store, but no developer is taking advantage of it. Anyways, Apple’s devices have a certain hook.. or something that’s very unique about them.. it’s exclusive to their name.
Microsoft’s Kinect is just rehashing what Nintendo did when they announced their Wii console. That comes off as being really “fanboyish,” but c’mon, really? Excluding official names because they really don’t matter, here are some games for Kinect: compilation of sports games (Wii Sports?), a dancing game (Just Dance?), a racing game (Mario Kart Wii?), some pet simulation game (Nintendogs?). Point is, Microsoft’s technology doesn’t really innovate at all. Sure, you don’t need a controller to swipe through menus, and you can use voice commands to select on-screen buttons, but is that really worth the price of admission? I totally dig the swiping stuff, but is it really revolutionary? Does it change the way we’ve been playing games on Wii for years now? Not really. Microsoft tries so hard at being their competitor that they prevent themselves from really flourishing on their own feet.
During a demonstration of how Kinect will allow you to make video calls over Xbox Live, Laura Lollip0p (who I like very much) brought in her sister from Texas on the other end. They begin talking about their lives, and then Laura shows her that you can actually watch videos together while on a video call as well. She selects a trailer for M. Night Shyamalan’s upcoming film “The Last Airbender.” After a few painfully awkward seconds pass, Laura’s sister exclaims in an overenthusiastic tone “Hey! That’s ‘The Last Airbender’. Wasn’t there a video game about that?” And I’ll stop there so you can take in that wonderful scene of acting. You really must watch the video to get the full effect because it is so awful. Microsoft had these obviously fake moments sprinkled throughout their entire conference. I’m all for having a script.. it’s probably nerve racking being in front of thousands of people. I totally get that. But they really tried too hard to fool a room full of hardcore gamers and gaming press. The acting during the conference just reeked of fake and made me feel that I was watching a giant advertisement.
So by now, you’re probably saying, “Well who cares, dude? E3 is about the games!” Truth is, even the games Microsoft showed off kind of felt like stale rehashes of things we have previously seen. Treyarch’s “Call of Duty: Black Ops” opened the show (another war game.. that looks vaguely like MW2), Hideo Kojima (creator of Metal Gear Solid) gave us details on “Metal Gear Solid: Rising,” Cliff Bleszinski (design director for Gears of War) showed off some “Gears of War 3” gameplay, and some folks from Bungie came on stage to display a closer look at the campaign of “Halo: Reach.” All of these games are a part of an established franchise and don’t really particularly grab my attention. Do they look fantastic? Yes. But they looked fantastic when we played them years ago, too.
And finally, Microsoft revealed a re-envisioning of the Xbox 360, which I found pretty lackluster as well. It’s the same machine.. same motherboard, processors, etc. Only difference is that it supports Wi-Fi (finally!) and it has a different casing. It’s “15% smaller”.. after 5 years?! Wow, thanks guys! I talked to my brother about it, and we both kind of conceded that it’s pointless. That it pales in comparison to the upgrade from an iPhone 3GS to an iPhone 4. He called it “a lack of effort” on Microsoft’s part, and really, it’s hard to disagree.
So that is why Microsoft’s E3 2010 conference was very weak, but before I go.. I just thought I’d let you all know that I’m not the only one that feels this way. The comments below are from Xbox Live’s Major Nelson blog. Stay tuned for more E3 coverage later today.
Maybe Microsoft will take note:
“Too much fake enthusiasm. Not enough new games announced/shown that people who already play video games would care about.” -a Master Ninja
“This was absolutely terrible. Horrible acting, horrible fake banter between people playing together on stage, horrible fake fun, overall horrible. Nothing really new or exciting. This was such a huge failure for Microsoft.” -TH3Hammer
“Besides four games or so (30 minutes of the press conference) this conference SUCKED! It was terrible. Sure pray Sony goes for gamers and not WiiHD. Also congrats it only took 10 years to have wifi built into the Xbox. I was expecting much better, microsoft let me down.” -SteelCity Beast
“This was the worst E3 press conference I’ve ever seen.” -not tonight dad
“Major, this was horrible. Whoever was in charge of this crap should get fired…hopefully it wasn’t you. I was extremely bored through the entire event. I’m sure the execs at Sony and Nintendo are THRILLED!” -LawdaddyCO
“Microsoft is truly a lumbering giant who has lost touch with those who made it what is was at its best… Sorry Major but it is clear that MS only cares about nickels and dimes at this point. Very sad!” -Huch
glory by the gram 